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Night and Day and the Marriage Bed

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
— Hebrews 13:4

Comparing the Western view today of sexual ethics and norms with that of the biblical view is like comparing night and day. They are so far apart, that the West has altogether forgotten why they first embraced biblical sexual ethics and norms to begin with. One-night stands, pornography, queerness, adultery, yes even sex trafficking — the list is quite long if I were to mention them all — all these things regarded by Scripture as sexually immoral and sinful are of such prominence, whether out in the light or hidden in the dark, because we have turned away from biblical authority. And it appears that we – as a developed and learned society – do not realize the damage that we are causing to ourselves, our neighbours, and our children. To be fair, the vast majority of our society are against sex trafficking, for example, and rightly so, but what the majority do not seem to understand is that what they are for, namely, sexual freedom (as defined by the West as being whatever you want), is what perpetuates this evil practice in the first place, it gives it a foothold and provides it with an audience with a sinful, twisted appetite. If you have yet to see the movie Sound of Freedom, starring Jim Caveziel (2023), I recommend you do so. It is absolutely heartbreaking – heart-wrenching! But it is an accurate account of what is sadly going on in our world. Unfortunately, though it performed above expectations at the box office, it did not get much attention from the media. And that is because the West knows well of all the skeletons hidden in its closets. The Lord knows what scandals and evils lie hidden under lock and key. It should be of no surprise, however. Such a film is convicting, and the West wants nothing to do with anything that might uncover the sin that lies in man’s heart. The natural man fears his unmasking. Have you considered how many movies and stories are out there that speak of the “goodness” of man? And while we do have the vestiges of God’s image within us, we cannot ignore the sin that brought us to our state of fallenness. Man is not good. As Jesus said, “No one is good but God alone” (Mark 10:18).

Honor Marriage

How do we then, as Christians, counter the Western sexual norms that we witness each day? How do we combat the overtly sexual nature of our culture? We live in this world, after all. And Jesus did not pray that we be removed from this world. And we do have a task in hand to cultivate creation into a godly civilization within the context of the Great Commission. The answer lies in living out the gospel, and this first begins with an understanding of who we are: fallen beings in need of God’s grace and forgiveness. And that the restoration of our fallen beings lies solely in the redemptive work of the Son of God, Jesus Christ. That restoration entails an embodiment of God’s righteousness in our daily living, which the believer can (and should) reasonably accomplish by the power of the Spirit of God. And that righteousness presupposes and upholds God’s creational order/norms, not excluding the aspect of human sexuality. The author of Hebrews in chapter 13, verse 4, says that we can reflect such righteousness by holding marriage in honor. And what does it mean to hold marriage in honor? I will tell you what it does not mean. It does not mean cheating on your husband or wife, or living in fornication, or promoting and entertaining false alternatives to marriage. I know of young men and women who have said that they will never marry, because to do so would be to make a commitment to someone other than themselves. Such an attitude is not only indicative of the self-absorbedness of sinful man, it is also a sign of the sickliness of our Western society. It is a stark contrast to “love your neighbour”, and antithetical to what God intended for man. To hold marriage in honor then is to uphold what it means, to uphold its sacredness, to protect it as God’s gift to man and as His created ordinance. A man or a woman who refrains from sexual activity until they enter into the covenant of marriage, and enjoy it solely within that covenant, is an example of “honoring” marriage. A husband or a wife who turns down an adulterous opportunity, who turns his or her gaze away from pornographic images (they are everywhere, from billboards to shows and movies, etc.), who refrains from flirtation with anyone other than his wife or her husband, is an example of “honoring” marriage. It is, essentially, to leave the marriage bed undefiled, to protect the sanctity of the marital covenant, as instituted by the Lord God Himself in the creation of Adam and Eve, and as expressed in the Mosaic law and the teachings of all of Scripture, including the words of Jesus Christ who left nothing to speculation as it concerned the subject. Husbands and wives are to remain faithful, single men and women are to protect their hearts from sexual impurity, and the church is to defend and uphold marriage as a creational ordinance, no matter how often or how severe the culture’s opinion shifts to and fro on the subject. We are to be the light, not the darkness; we are to show the way, not the pit; we are to be the salt, not the rot.

Eternal Ramifications

As the writer of Hebrews states, those who break God’s law, those who go against and seek to undermine what God has established in His creation, unless they have a change of heart and repent and turn to the Lord in faith, will suffer the full consequence of their sin, and they will know the judgment of the Lord on that final day, when the elect are ushered into God’s presence, and the wicked thrown into the lake of fire, the second death. Until that day comes, may our witness, not only through speech but through our actions, be a signpost to salvation, may it turn people’s eyes to see how things ought to be, why it is good, and who can bring it all about, Jesus Christ. I would say, “If only the West knew how badly it has shot itself in the foot”, but that would be inaccurate. If only it knew that it shot itself in the heart the very moment it rejected the Lordship of Christ. The sexual aberrations manifesting all about us is but a consequence of its spiritual death. Only the redemption and renewal of the human person could bring back hope that our society would once again — but in a greater way than ever before — honor marriage, and protect the sanctity of the marriage bed.